Paternity

I want to clarify that these are my standards that are based on my understanding from Scripture. Maybe you agree with this, and have come to the same conclusion from Scripture. If you have your own, great. I have no desire to debate this with anyone or convert anyone over to my beliefs. Your walk is your own, and it’s personal to you. This is not a lesson, and I am not your teacher.

 

Being a father in the True Faith, to me, means being the leader of your household. It is a very serious responsibility that should not be confused with the fatherhood/leadership concept by the world’s standards.  The worldly minded are consumed by leading their children into the empty chasm of academia, entertainment, civic duty, the workplace, and ultimately their spiritual grave. As a believer in Messiah I must apply the concepts of Biblical leadership as defined by our Savior. The greatest among us is the servant of all. What does that look like in a Father’s role? How does a Father serve his family? While I’m defining this specifically for fathers, a married couple is one flesh, so there is a lot of overlap in these principles for a mother ,but with different roles in these overlapping principles. In my understanding, I break it down into the 7 (P)rinciples of Paternity:

 

Provider - 1 Timothy 5:8 is a serious warning on this: “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever.”  The father is the “breadwinner”. This seems superficially simple, but being a breadwinner in the Faith means not sacrificing your beliefs simply to gain the means to fill your stomachs, while leaving your soul or your character house empty. Your family will learn to keep their convictions by your example. Particularly in Sabbath keeping. No, being a believing breadwinner in the world is not a simple task.

 

Pastor - We cannot live on bread alone. My definition here is not the civic christian concept of a religious teacher, but rather the actual meaning of the word: “shepherd”. You lead in prayer, and study. You need to be watching over the health and well-being of your flock by observing the signs of boredom, stress, exhaustion, depression, infighting, and most of all spiritual apathy. It is your role to recognize these issues and discuss with your spouse how to alleviate any of these issues. Your wife is your helpmate and is the first line of dialogue. Your wife may bring her own observations to your attention, and it is your job to pay attention and lead counsel in these issues.

 

Priest - This word is loaded with nuances. This word comes from the root “presbyter” which means “elder”, which in context means: a leader or senior figure in a tribe or other group. It is the father’s role to have Scriptural authority through wisdom and understanding. If your wife has greater understanding on Scriptural matters there is something terribly wrong with your priorities. This is not an invitation to bully your way into authority, but a challenge to you for serious spiritual growth. As a priest in your home you perform the sacrifice of self through your obedience. Obedience is greater than sacrifice. There is a very literal role as priest in your home in the Levitical context of offerings and observances. The father is to lead in all of these roles.

 

Protector - The good shepherd example of Messiah, who was willing to lay down His life for his flock, should be modeled by those who practice the True Faith. Defending your home, and your family is a critical role. You have to be willing and capable to be bring intense violence on those who would do harm to your family. Playing “what if” games in your head does not qualify here. You should have training in this, and legal knowledge in this area. Don’t be that guy that tries to be scary to his family with false bravado, either. Your family should never fear you, or see chaos in you. You want to display a disciplined and capable level of ability in your defense of your family. If you are a hot-head looking for trouble, you’ll find it, and it may leave your family without a protector if you find yourself in jail because you tried to compensate for a lack of ability with macho buffoonery. You are also the one who must teach self defense. You can not, and will not be able to watch over your family at all times and forever. Make sure they have as much capability as is appropriate for the age and ability.

 

Provisioner - This is slightly different than the concept of provider. I’m using the definition in the context as follows:  “Arrangement or preparation beforehand, as for the doing of something, the meeting of needs, the supplying of means, etc.” It’s not enough to simply provide the basic needs of life as they are needed. We must always look ahead in an effort to secure the future of our family. A good provisioner should not only bring home the bread today, but be thinking of how he can win bread for the future. Provisioning is also the excess you can pass on. It comes in the form of land procurement, food production knowledge, stockpiles, and the valuable things that may enable future generations to remain set apart.

 

Prolocutor - One who presides or serves as a spokesperson. This is a tough one conceptually. This is not the “what I say goes” model, but rather the role as a frontman. You should speak on behalf of your family when engaging with the world. Do not leave your wife to lead the charge. Having said that, your character and speech should reflect the image of your household. 

 

Patriarch - For me this word means the founder of a venerable legacy. This manifests when you change the course of your generations to bring honor to Him. It’s a lofty goal, but if we endure in these other principles, we can surely achieve this status.

 

I want to state for the record that I am not adequately living up to my own standards. I am conscious however of my responsibilities, and understand that by not being a Biblically principled leader to my family I could lead them astray. 

But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. -Matthew 18:6